Self-Soothing for regulating your mood, increasing self compassion, and overall emotional well being.

One way to increase self-love is through compassion. Self-compassion isn’t any different that showing compassion to others. When you are compassionate towards others what does that feel like? It may increase your awareness that someone is hurting. Once you acknowledge another persons pain you may feel warmth, caring and a need to help them alleviate their pain in some way. To have compassion for someone is to forgive mistakes through kindness and understanding without judgment. When you show compassion your awareness that we all have some form of suffering in our lives and it is part of our experience. 

Having self-compassion involves those same concepts of caring and kindness towards yourself when you are dealing with pain and suffering. It is not beating yourself up by criticizing or invalidating yourself. It is the understanding of you being human that has imperfections and the acceptance of those imperfections. 

Self-compassion allows us to be a part of a bigger community and acknowledging that all people suffer and our suffering is also connected to others. It requires that we be open and honest about our self-talk and how if affects us. It’s allowing yourself to have feelings that can be validated without denying or ignoring the pain. 

It is not uncommon for you to feel uncomfortable if you have not learned or taken care of yourself. Be mindful of your thoughts so that you don’t guilt trip into not caring for yourself. In order for you to do things for others you will need to first care for yourself.

Self-soothing has to do with comforting, nurturing and being kind to yourself. One way to think of this is to think of ways of soothing each of your five senses:

Vision: Take a walk in a park be curious to what you are seeing. Look around and find the beauty in everyday items, such as the beauty of the birds outside your window, the rain as drizzles down the glass of your window, a lit candle wax as it flickers or drips down it ever so softly.  Sit in a garden, what colors do you see? You can also watch your favorite movie, or look at some art. 

Hearing:Listen to your favorite music allowing yourself to soak in all the sounds of the instruments, listening to the words with a curious ear. Allow yourself to sit in silence outside and soak in all the sounds, the birds singing in the trees, leaves rustling in the wind, the soothing sounds of the ocean, and waves as they crash against the cliffs. 

Touch: Hug your family/friend. Fill different textures in you home.  Snuggle with your favorite blanket or in your favorite pair of pajamas. Hold someone’s hand, give a high five, or feel the sand beneath your toes. 

Smell: Notice all the different smells that surround you.  Bake your favorite dish. Use aromatherapy as a way to increase a calmness and can be used in massage, a diffuser, bath, or  as needed using a roll on. 

Lavender essential oil: anti-anxiety

Geranium essential oil: balancing

Mandarin essential oil: calming

Palmarosa essential oil: calms the mind

Taste: Taste your favorite treat allowing yourself to be mindful of what you are ingesting. Hold it in your mouth a little longer and savor the different tastes that are infused in your meal. Drink a soothing drink such as herbal tea. Go to a local cafe and try something new savoring eat bite.

Many people feel that treating themselves with such pleasures is selfish or that they don’t deserve it. Some may  feel that they need someone else to soothe them. If you are feeling either of these it is time to be compassionate and remind yourself that we all 

Self-soothing its a life tool that helps us to learn to regulate our emotions in order to cope with tough situations and emotional well being.

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9140 E. Paseo Tranquillo Gilroy CA 95020
(510) 947-8041